FINALLY Some Nude Pics: Grand Finale!!

You've waited so patiently to see me masturbating... today is the day, you lucky bastards!!

Sarcasm Expires in 12 Hours!!

Did you know...

Key Words For Love Day

Happy Anatomically Incorrect Heart Day...

Spam

Truth in advertising...

Inventing The Wheel

My favourite thing is when you act like I am inventing the wheel simply because you've never been exposed to the concepts or ideas I am so familiar with. The earth is no longer flat and hasn't been for a while...

Confusion

It's really no secret that I'd rather write smut than advertising a mooching sack campaign... Geez, who wouldn't? And wouldn't you rather read the Blog O' Booty Wisdoms, than a campaign to generate enough pennies to keep the Blog O' Wisdom alive?

Muscles

When you work with words, about sex, people take all kinds of liberties with boundaries employing uncouth behaviour that wouldn't come up under other circumstances... I think. Or should "hope" be the verb there? Probably

Ask A Hot Chick - Seventh Heaven

Q: Sensei please tell me what women want to hear on messages from men on this site.

A:  I broke your question into two parts, for the sake of brevity, which we all know is fucking impossible for me. And to be able to use the bit where you called me "Sensei" twice.

Six Inverted Six

Happy Soixante Neuf... soixante neuf is "69" for those of you who don't know the language of love, or haven't seen Talladega Nights.

When you learn about sex from the Kama Sutra, the sixty nine seems boring

True Story, with Pictures

I wanted to settle some rumours about this whole thing. And I know that pictures tell the real story for many of you, so I threw some photographs in, too.

Fluff

1- My #lesbian #lover said I was overdue to fuck somebody, or at least have #sex @danieltosh again  http://donorsforboners.blogspot.ca/2012/07/future-ex-husbands-and-how-to-use.html

Guns and Nuts

Now, don't misunderstand me, what happened at the Aurora theatre showing the latest Batman flick is fucking horrific. The physical pain and psychological terror isn't something I would wish on your worst enemy. I don't have any enemies so I couldn't wish it on them. No, I mean I don't. Other people may feel and report differently about it but I am master of my domain only. 

Naturally the gun debate is back on, as if it ever really ends. I know you're on the edge of your seat wondering: Who do I think is right?

More Rape Talk: Creeps of all Ages

Let's set this up with the "half plus seven" rule. Or the"double minus seven" rule if you're on the other end of things.


What?? You don't know about the 1/2+7 Rule? I'm here for you. If you're Fuck Informed already, skip down a few paragraphs, this part'll just be a refresher course for you. What's "Fuck Informed"? ... Oh God, please don't tell me you think about sex this much and haven't done any research on our favourite topic. Seriously, how can you spend so much time thinking  and dreaming about anything and know nothing about it???  S'ok, I'm here to help you get "Fuck Informed", I'll stop judging your ignorance long enough to help you kill that ignorance. I'm a humanitarian like that.

"Can I borrow a feeling?"

It's kinda funny that when I actually ask for dicktures, you guys get all shy and quiet.


Is it that you enjoy the risk of being exposed,

Anal

"99 Problems"

Well, that's not actually true. Only two posts in and these bitches want to turn me into Dear Abby... hot.

Bitches, I do love you and I'm genuinely sorry your problems exist, or that you're too dim to avoid them. If I had a magic wand, an actual magic rather than the euphemistic penis you'd be offered in a lot of other venues, I could wave that shit and happily ever after could be yours. Maybe I'll check out E-bay and see what I can do. In the meantime, you could attempt to:

-avoid going out with someone if you think he's a loser. Granted, you don't always know until you go out, but H, you knew in advance of The Date that you had no interest in the guy. "Free dinner" is a shitty excuse to go out with

Wanna Chat?

"Wanna Chat?" And other Freakquently Asked Questions...

A conglomerate (of men) and I were having this conversation. Approximately 18, 000 times. It's slightly paraphrased for flow but this is pretty much how the conversations go, give or take. It just kinda blurs into a single idiot in my head. They really don't distinguish themselves from the other idiots that well because the conversations are so remarkably similar that they might be using the same script. 

Ladies, or guys: if you have an amazing man (or two, or whatever your fucking slutty deal is) in your life, go fuck the shit out of him right now. Right now!! If you're on the rag and don't "do" period sex cuz it's against your religion or some shit, go suck his dick until he blows all over your goddamned face. If you just got your tongue pierced and are still riding out the 6-8 weeks, give him the best handjob he ever had, or take it in the ass. If he'in another country send nude ass pics to his phone, straight up phone sex, do whatever you gotta do to give that man some booty treasure.

Life As A Chick On The Internet

It was hot inside the club, the DJ wasn't inspiring the urge to dance and there wasn't enough booze in the place to make me wanna fuck any of the patrons, so after bidding my bitches adieu, I went home early on Friday night. I was a lil drunked up and figured I would throw down some hours typing out some content for this here blog. But the booze was inspiring Starter's Block and I couldn't figure out what to write about. I came to the brilliant conclusion that I could post online and ask for ideas.