The Smut Hook Up

"Sex stories, gimme!!!!"

How To Get The Pussy (To Hug Your Dick), And Keep The Pussy

So, you wanna get laid... I have a secret for you. Two secrets actually...

Irony Is Ironic

This fine Monday is entirely too fucked

This Fuck The Artist Fetish Is Amusing But Not In The Same Way Good Sex Is Amusing

So, here's the thing, a hot lady who uses a picture of cleavage as the brand image to peddle words that focus on sex and sexuality is bound to be the target of more than a few attempts at a date. That came out wrong. Target is too charged a word to be the most accurate there but fuck it, a word laid is a word played, on this fine day. Come to think of it, maybe it is most accurate.

Obtusity Chameleon Warm-Ups: Sexy Time Pros(e)

Investigations make guilty parties feel uneasy. Though they make innocent parties uneasy, too, in a different way. For example, prostitutes. The ladies of the night, or the nooner depending on their shift,

WTF? DTF? SWM? MWM? ffm? BDSM? WTF?

Okay, I just read the funniest shit ever. I'm hoping it's composer will come in on guest blog duty with it. Fucking hilarious to the point that words escape me in trying to describe it to you. Yes! Words escaped me.

The best description I can give is that it's kind of an inside joke thing between non-chodes. The closest real world, ready reference I can come up with would be

Hand Job Advice

Please help. I'm from LOCATION OMITTED. I'm 23. A student. And broke.

I took a massage course 2 years ago. My friends say I'm really good at it. I thought I could make some extra cash if I advertised to cheap massages. I'm not RMT so I charge less. It's hard work and OMG,  laundry.

I saw your post about being on the Internet. I thought maybe you could help me. It's like everyonewho responds wants a hand job. I just keep telling them I have aboyfriend That's true. But I don't know what I am "saying" that makes them think that. It's awkward and sometimes scary... I'm at some guy's place and he wants sex and I don't... I just try not to think about it. Maybe I'm being a baby...

I'm trying to make some cash... 

FML 

LYL, 

Hand job advice... did ya catch that one, massage, job you do with your hands... fuck, never mind...Where to even start on this madness? 

I think it's fair to say that most of us probably don't ask our grocery clerk to install our windows, hold our nuts while we bend and cough, or teach our rotten teenager Algebra, or any job, other than "grocery clerk". Fuck, we don't even ask them to come home with us to put the groceries away or cook dinner. "Just fill the fucking shelves, wheel that shit out to my car, I'll say thanks and I'll see your cracker ass next Thursday!"... right?

Life As A Chick On The Internet

It was hot inside the club, the DJ wasn't inspiring the urge to dance and there wasn't enough booze in the place to make me wanna fuck any of the patrons, so after bidding my bitches adieu, I went home early on Friday night. I was a lil drunked up and figured I would throw down some hours typing out some content for this here blog. But the booze was inspiring Starter's Block and I couldn't figure out what to write about. I came to the brilliant conclusion that I could post online and ask for ideas.