How To Get The Pussy (To Hug Your Dick), And Keep The Pussy

So, you wanna get laid... I have a secret for you. Two secrets actually...

Proposals

No, thank you, I wouldn't like to get married to you. I appreciate the invitation but I almost guarantee you'd hate your life even more than you do now, if I was your wife. And I do guarantee that you're not the wife for me. I'd put money on it.

It has nothing to do with your mom

WTF? DTF? SWM? MWM? ffm? BDSM? WTF?

Okay, I just read the funniest shit ever. I'm hoping it's composer will come in on guest blog duty with it. Fucking hilarious to the point that words escape me in trying to describe it to you. Yes! Words escaped me.

The best description I can give is that it's kind of an inside joke thing between non-chodes. The closest real world, ready reference I can come up with would be