Pure Genius

J-Wunder tells it like it is

Proposals

No, thank you, I wouldn't like to get married to you. I appreciate the invitation but I almost guarantee you'd hate your life even more than you do now, if I was your wife. And I do guarantee that you're not the wife for me. I'd put money on it.

It has nothing to do with your mom

Ask A Hot Chick - Five

Q: I think I've figured out that I was avoiding "getting out there" by trying the online dating thing...

A: I think that your logic , to try out for the Online Dating Olympics, is sound. The odds are kind of fucked with the numbers in play, males 95, females 5, 3 of them pros, 1 BBW and 1 wild card. The wild card may have 5 kids or a husband. So, it's 95 to 1 or 2. So, that one or two percent is proof that not everything is too good to be true.

Best Friends, Tosh Talk, Censorship Bears, Free Speech... for some

Do you know who hates when artists get paid more than people with shittier jobs? Other artists, apparently.


So, I've been a little distraught because of the fight Daniel Tosh and I had about his ugly shoes. It wasn't really a fight, but it was our first disagreement and I guess our love had been blinding us to the realities of human relations a little. 

Just like getting banned on that writing forum this morning,

Beauty, Prowess, Success, Fuck You: Baby Daddy Sues Baby Mama For Ugly Baby

It took a few years to hit failblog.org and get everyone talking about the  gene pool injustices we face. And it took me even longer to actually sit the fuck down and type at you about it. I've been busy.

For those of you even more behind the times than I am, all of the copied and pasted articles say the same thing; Chinese guy has a beautiful wife and they make a  fuck ugly baby. He's pissed. She admits to $100,000 in plastic surgery. He sues her for false pretenses, and wins.

Real Problems

I think if I read one more tirade about how evil Daniel Tosh is, I may throw up the load of come I swallowed earlier.


Yesterday I mentioned our forthcoming marriage and our fantastically weird sex life, in great detail, and I've been too busy, picking out china for our skeet shooting reception that will follow the ceremony, to comment on what amounts to

Hand Job Advice

Please help. I'm from LOCATION OMITTED. I'm 23. A student. And broke.

I took a massage course 2 years ago. My friends say I'm really good at it. I thought I could make some extra cash if I advertised to cheap massages. I'm not RMT so I charge less. It's hard work and OMG,  laundry.

I saw your post about being on the Internet. I thought maybe you could help me. It's like everyonewho responds wants a hand job. I just keep telling them I have aboyfriend That's true. But I don't know what I am "saying" that makes them think that. It's awkward and sometimes scary... I'm at some guy's place and he wants sex and I don't... I just try not to think about it. Maybe I'm being a baby...

I'm trying to make some cash... 

FML 

LYL, 

Hand job advice... did ya catch that one, massage, job you do with your hands... fuck, never mind...Where to even start on this madness? 

I think it's fair to say that most of us probably don't ask our grocery clerk to install our windows, hold our nuts while we bend and cough, or teach our rotten teenager Algebra, or any job, other than "grocery clerk". Fuck, we don't even ask them to come home with us to put the groceries away or cook dinner. "Just fill the fucking shelves, wheel that shit out to my car, I'll say thanks and I'll see your cracker ass next Thursday!"... right?