Crushing Defeat For the Perverts

Too much stupid, not enough time...

If you care to read all the madness

Safe, Sane and Consensual

Whatever two, or more, adults choose to get up to together, to get off by, is really nobody's business. In fact, The Man will enforce indecent exposure laws, which were probably designed to make certain it's nobody else's business.

Safe, Sane, Consensual. That's all

Legitimate Rape?

Illegitimate rape must be where the illegitimate children come from... things are making a lot more sense now.

What could I say about this dumbass that The Onion hasn't said better?

Best Friends, Tosh Talk, Censorship Bears, Free Speech... for some

Do you know who hates when artists get paid more than people with shittier jobs? Other artists, apparently.


So, I've been a little distraught because of the fight Daniel Tosh and I had about his ugly shoes. It wasn't really a fight, but it was our first disagreement and I guess our love had been blinding us to the realities of human relations a little. 

Just like getting banned on that writing forum this morning,

Hater Vision and Even More Rape Talk

It seems that rape talk is all the rage these days, and you know me, always a follower... or human pun delivery system. Krusty the Klown says, "Hey Jerk. Puns are lazy writing!" but he's a clown. But I am a bit of a jerk. 

Clowns, rape talk, jerks, it just goes on and on. 

This week it's the fucktard Toronto Sun tabloid that's using the Letters To the Editor to help spread the good word that

The Porn Song

Since we're still going on about my Love's moral fibre deficiency, I'd like to

Pizza/Courtroom Porno, Take 1

Are we still talking about what's awful(ly funny in context)?

Le Weekend: Confessions

You know who's

More Rape Talk: Creeps of all Ages

Let's set this up with the "half plus seven" rule. Or the"double minus seven" rule if you're on the other end of things.


What?? You don't know about the 1/2+7 Rule? I'm here for you. If you're Fuck Informed already, skip down a few paragraphs, this part'll just be a refresher course for you. What's "Fuck Informed"? ... Oh God, please don't tell me you think about sex this much and haven't done any research on our favourite topic. Seriously, how can you spend so much time thinking  and dreaming about anything and know nothing about it???  S'ok, I'm here to help you get "Fuck Informed", I'll stop judging your ignorance long enough to help you kill that ignorance. I'm a humanitarian like that.

Real Problems

I think if I read one more tirade about how evil Daniel Tosh is, I may throw up the load of come I swallowed earlier.


Yesterday I mentioned our forthcoming marriage and our fantastically weird sex life, in great detail, and I've been too busy, picking out china for our skeet shooting reception that will follow the ceremony, to comment on what amounts to

Future Ex-Husbands and How To Use The Internet

I can help but think it,
It's the only thing keeping me on the fence.

Wrong, Soldier. My half-assed commitment to heterosexuality is impervious to all this grossness. It's like saying that because I saw some really disgusting people out there today that I am off sex forever. There are plenty of -9 asses wearing Lululemons outside of yoga studios. Plenty of greasy, pregnant looking men following along beside street cars and leering at nubile young things with 4% body fat. That couple who would read the bible and then make out like teenagers... Fuck, their memory makes me throw up in my mouth a bit.

What kind of twisted fuck am I to assault us all with that imagery? Probably some kind of fight or flight mechanism to preserve my status as a cock lover

"Can I borrow a feeling?"

It's kinda funny that when I actually ask for dicktures, you guys get all shy and quiet.


Is it that you enjoy the risk of being exposed,

Really Real Reality

In all honesty, I could grind it out faster if I wasn't so busy molesting myself and/or sport fucking strangers.

Y'see, just as it has always been suspected, women with incredible breasts really do