Where Are All The Boner Stories?

That is a fine query for a sunny Friday...

Muscles

When you work with words, about sex, people take all kinds of liberties with boundaries employing uncouth behaviour that wouldn't come up under other circumstances... I think. Or should "hope" be the verb there? Probably

NSFW - Master and servant

Excerpt

~with a gorgeous stranger. He had an interesting view of my midsection where my shirt and blazer had lifted slightly from the hem of my skirt. I wondered if it was riding high enough to show my stomach.

Really Real Reality

In all honesty, I could grind it out faster if I wasn't so busy molesting myself and/or sport fucking strangers.

Y'see, just as it has always been suspected, women with incredible breasts really do

"99 Problems"

Well, that's not actually true. Only two posts in and these bitches want to turn me into Dear Abby... hot.

Bitches, I do love you and I'm genuinely sorry your problems exist, or that you're too dim to avoid them. If I had a magic wand, an actual magic rather than the euphemistic penis you'd be offered in a lot of other venues, I could wave that shit and happily ever after could be yours. Maybe I'll check out E-bay and see what I can do. In the meantime, you could attempt to:

-avoid going out with someone if you think he's a loser. Granted, you don't always know until you go out, but H, you knew in advance of The Date that you had no interest in the guy. "Free dinner" is a shitty excuse to go out with

Friends With Benefits

Pay no mind to the fact that by adding the make-up and hair, I  made this bitch look like a trannie.
I stole this from the Internet from someone else who stole it from the Internet.
We're both fucking assholes.
But if you've ever wondered why girls are always willing to "pretend"
to be each other's lesbian lovers on bar night... the truth is:
It's not pretend.

Excerpt--


...watching her perfect ass in the shorts as she went for the plates. I ran my finger along the silk babydoll dress wondering when she would put it on and how high the hem would be on those sexy legs. "What are we watching?"

"Porno, that way we won't have to follow the story too closely." Grabbing the remote control and tossing it beside me on the couch, she said, "Find us something funny. Or with car chases." She started undoing her