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Friday, 17 August 2012

A Bright Idea

Ain't that the truth...

So, I was all, "Fuck this, I'm going to buy a lamp..."

Whether it's #FollowFriday on Twitter or not, I can't just leave you hanging like that. Though I am a right proper asshole so I am inclined to consider it... It used to be #FridayFlash when I was a wee gaffer, or when the Internet was a wee gaffer... I'm gonna bitch about underage creeps again in a second or two, but not today.

If you were "expecting tits", like this guy was... well, lucky  for you, I'm not willing to leave this article empty of valuable content. So, we gonna play, How To Use The Internet... again... for our #FridayFun.

Take your mouse, if you're on a computer, and hover the cursor over this fancy blue highlighted chunk of words... What? What just happened there? The black text turned white like your computer was trying to tell you something? what the fuck could it be?

Continue to breath through your mouth so your poor brain can get all the oxygen possible... now keep the mouse where it is and, very carefully, move your eyes to the bottom left of your screen. Above the Start menu. Above the downloads you've stolen from the Internet today... what's that? A fucking Internet address to what appears to be a video on Youtube? Giggity! That's prolly gonna be good. I'll give you a second to click that shit and like it up on Facebook.


... You back yet?

... Did you watch it again? Trying to look through that shower door, huh? Can't blame a Cracker for trying. Good times.

K, now that you're all dick disappointed like ^that guy^ who was "expecting tits"... and now that you're all excited at the mention of the word tits... wait a second? Was that another one of those fancy blue highlighted chunks of word? Go back! Quick... maybe this is the mother load of boobs you'd been hoping to find on this Friday jaunt through the greener pastures of the Internet. WTF? Did it just happen again?



... Maybe you wanna bookmark this post, now that you know where those fancy blue highlighted words take you. Don't wanna beat it raw so early in on the weekend... or maybe you do? 'Sok, I'll wait for you to come back. You should probably bookmark the whole damn blog because I add links to old articles all the time. You might be missing out on awesomeness and boobies if you don't tune in on the regular.

You can follow my bullshit on Twitter, too. Fuck, make it a game and see how many social networks you can befriend me on. It'll give your dick a little time to recuperate. Make sure you drink lots of water.


... Still looking for that cache of photographs of titties? They're secreted away here and there among the words... Y'know? Words. Blog. Imma Writa, Notta Model. And shit. Go Fuck Yourself and everything.

So, I was all, "Fuck this, I'm going to buy a lamp..."

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