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Tuesday 17 July 2012

Hater Vision and Even More Rape Talk

It seems that rape talk is all the rage these days, and you know me, always a follower... or human pun delivery system. Krusty the Klown says, "Hey Jerk. Puns are lazy writing!" but he's a clown. But I am a bit of a jerk. 


Clowns, rape talk, jerks, it just goes on and on. 

This week it's the fucktard Toronto Sun tabloid that's using the Letters To the Editor to help spread the good word that
 women aren't quite equal . I do apologize for calling your rag a tabloid but seriously, where is the line on editorial responsibility here? Sure, it's this asshat's opinion and he's certainly entitled to it, but is there any need to print hater talk?  Aren't I protected from being hated on under the laws of this fine ghetto. As a human being? Or do I really not "count" because I'm "just a woman". Is it the same when The Gays get beaten to death for existing? What about when illegal immigrants get exploited by employers and landlords, do they deserve that, too? Because none of the above are quite 'human enough' to qualify for Human Rights? I'm pretty sure good ole Nellie McClung plowed through like a motherfucking Bull Moose so I'm even allowedvote in our entirely rigged election system now. But maybe I didn't get the memo that that had been revoked. 

I stole this.

This is a question for the sincere woman haters in the crowd, male and female alike. If you could go back in time and rape Nellie McClung into submission, would you? I'm not making rape jokes, I just mean it could have a real impact on this newfandangled idea that women actually have a right to decide "which dick and when or if" talk. An event like that may even be big enough to quell this whole gay marriage "debate" we're currently engaged in. Certainly the carpet-munchers wouldn't dare to love each other up enough to commit to a lifetime team if Nellie was "put in her place" way back when... I don't know who the American equivalent is. I'm Canadian, eh, just like the rest of the world,we hate the States, too. Jokes, fuckers. Sort of. But my favourite husbands are American so what can a fucker do? All I know is that this has become a classic Imma Offtrack-Byamile, so lemme retrieve the binoculars so we can get back to hating.

Because the way I'm viewing it, from an editor's standpoint, is that by printing the letter you're probably pretty much just pricks cuz you kinda liked the gist of his blathering, so you included it, rather than take the flack for printing the same kind of article, as an article. The gist of said blather being that victims of sexual assault, especially the ladies, are truly to blame and that there is no onus on the individual (98% men) committing the crime to control oneself from committing the crime in the first place. That it's hardly a crime at all and criminal prosecution is a boondoggle in that regard. That seems like a pretty targeted and hateful statement. But maybe I am interpreting the choice to include this kind of shit talk. maybe I am interpreting him wrong in the first place, like an offended audience member trying to quote a comedian from memory.

No memory required, just copy and paste that shit:



"I wanted to mention that the reason why these sex attacks are continuously happening is because the Canadian laws, which gives too much freedom to women, are the cause of these sex attacks."

That's what he really said. So, it's not women, he's blaming, but Canadian Law? Haha, doesn't he know that those laws actually pertain to some offcoast area in the middle of an ocean? Maybe not quite the middle, but not my point at all. It's our having freedom that is the real issue, apparently. I'd just like to point out that this is the same kind of grooming technique perpetrators of spousal abuse use to re-victimize their spouses into sticking around. And precisely why victims of domestic violence leave a dangerous relationship an average of nine times before they meet with success on that goal. Same kind of grooming "The Church" gets up to, 
"Fill their heads full of shit at their most vulnerable, boom, they'll be yours for life!"
By his account of things, I need to be protected from myself, for being such a sexy beast, because my very composition means I am asking for caveman style territorial pissings... he basically gives a pass to every predator that has graced this fine rock. Not The Canadian Shield, I meant the Earth that time. He also said,
"Const. Michael Sanguinetti was right when he said that” women should avoid dressing like sluts in order not to be victimized.”"
Now, is that a direct quote of the constable, or is he paraphrasing so it's convenient? Slut Walk, for the win! Whatever, I'll shit on other corruptions of power and people who are ill-equipped to do their jobs another time, today it's the fucktard "spiritual leaders" I'm calling out. And for the record, this isn't hate speech against cultists. One of my favourite people of all time happens to run a Christian cult and I've never met a more beautiful man. I'm simply going on what you tell me about your God. I just happen to have a mind that enjoys reason and I'm fucking brutally honest about everything I observe.

This one, too.


I wrote a poem to express myself about it and even though poetry is mostly misunderstood worse than erotica production, Imma Share:

   I know the Jesus fables best 
   'Cause that's the channel we're tuned into
   In The West, 
   But they're all pretty 
   Much the same. 


Deity, cult, afterlife, or not. Too glib? Meh, my pat answer applies: fuck you, we real talkin' here. If it's the word "cult" that sets you off, also fuck you. I'm a wordsmith, I used the term most apt. Although if I was getting paid on a per word basis one may think I'd styled after Dickens'. Anyway, in defense of precise language: Google + "cult definition", copy and paste first hit=
A system of religious veneration and devotion directed toward a particular figure or object. 
The preview of the cult Wikipedia article looked fascinating but I prefer to read that kind of shit on the bus while someone is looking over my shoulder. I crack my neck a lot and leer at men like I'm on a diet and they are steak...

I can't support or condone bad math (c'mon, he even opened his act with "Allah The Beneficient The Merciful", just like the rumours about Jesus' Daddy), so naturally I'll reject any "God" you're reporting on that doesn't include everything and everyone. If my fags aren't welcome I won't even go into a bar, so why the fuck would I agree to an eternity in a club where they can't come in either? It's going to get awfully boring, awfully quickly, if there are no gays to entertain me, I'm taking long-term view on my afterlife retirement plan. 


And this one.


So any time a religious zealot tells me that "God" doesn't like somebody, I know they are lying to get attention. It's like a little child, embellishing on a story. You see, Jesus is one of my super best friends. And one thing I'll say for the guy, he is willing to chill with complete assholes, too. He doesn't discriminate at all, for real real. And frankly, despite the whole Mary Raping Incident, his dad is pretty neato, too. I try to keep the bigger picture in perspective to justify the Mary Raping Incident. We got a martyr out of the deal, that's the silver lining. Silver is good? I don't know, it's a complicated story.

Over the years, I've gotten to know a bunch of his friends, and they're all the pretty much the same. Slight variances, naturally. Allah is a really good dancer, Krishna makes great music, Vishnu and Shiva have what can only be described as a brilliant circus act they do at parties and shit, no spoilers but trust me, you'll love it if you ever see it, Buddha hangs out at times and is just about the funniest shit going. Jehovah makes the best couch forts. Creator is, well, creative. The bongs are like Rube Goldberg machines. There are angels and other groupies that chill. The stereotype that they can all play the harp and sing even better than their distant cousins, birds, are based on facts. 

Yep, this one, too.

These gatherings they host are somewhat epic. They rotate who's temple or cloud villa will get trashed that weekend and overall, there is a surprisingly small amount of cream cheese involved. They hire strippers and pay them really well to be super sexy while they play Backgammon. It skews the market a little cuz strippers develop a normalcy bias about being respected, and end up going into every gig thinking they'll be appreciated for being Goddesses rather than getting raped at discounted rates "because they deserve it". But ultimately, this crowd of super best friends are the same. They say the same shit, laugh at the same jokes, and cry at the same chick flicks. Because they are so horrifically manipulative. 


Another diatribe for another day. My point is: Jesus ain't "Christians" and no matter how many interesting stories are in it, he didn't write the fucking Bible either. He'd appreciate a joke thrown in right here, about having had a hand in The Fucking Bible. He's definitely not all about coercion and fact manipulation to better shit on folks. And just like any of my other friends, you talk shit about them, Imma get up in yo' face about it.

Do you really need Mommy to tell you you're
not dirty and bad for liking sex?
Rhetorical question, I know how prevalent
the occurrence is in grown men.
In his defense, after a few messages,
consisting of only the word
"Booty",
he adapted and employed the whole
sentence communication tactic.
Haha,
I have a messiah complex
and/or
I'm sacrilicious.
Or I've no patience for
porn addled sexual fantasies
that are entirely too boring.
Porn has killed sexual imagination
just like TV has killed regular imagination.
It's a pity for them cuz real life is so much better.
'K, I'll try to wrap it up like this was dick, and I was about to go for a ride. I had to wait to comment on this guy's stupidity because I wanted someone to write this article first so I could just focus on the fact that the letter writer is a piece of shit, entirely aside from the fact that he is a man, or brown, or Quebecois, or Canadian, or North American, or Christian raised, or Islamic converted, or the fact that he has one of those names that are hard for stupid North Americans to pronounce, me being one of them.

Admittedly, I think religion is a joke. All of them, not any one in particular. No disrespect intended, I just don't need to fear everlasting damnation to be motivated enough to treat people well and I really have no interest in virgins, they don't know what the fuck they're doing in bed. I do understand that other folks need a sort of guidance system that reminds them not to kill their neighbour, while avoiding stealing his electronics and/or raping his wife. That's super cool if it works for you. I'm all about being solution oriented and proactive. But if there was only one right way, there would only be one path, and we'd all look and talk exactly the same, which would ultimately make it a lot easier to share clothes. 

If we gotta get all label this, label that, so we can categorize and understand this shithole existence, I'm a humanist. Which is even divisive in itself, to separate one animal from another but I support the animals, too, get off my fucking back. But based on pure logic applied to the God Theory, the only obvious conclusion is to reject any kind of division. All the deities are sayin' it, "One Love, bitches". If you really think you're more important than that squirrel who keeps stealing the bird seed and shitting everywhere, I am genuinely sorry for you and your all-important ego. Just as I am genuinely sorry that this letter writer feels the need to hide behind a deity to share his hate with the planet. I don't need the Jesus Card to hate a motherfucker, I'll hate whoever the fuck I wanna, as me. Just like Ricky Bobby; no endorsements. I'm the greatest Obtusity Chameleon of this century, I'll mirror the fuck out of any all y'all shit.




And let's just be really real for twelve or thirteen seconds, this is only "news" not because his themes of hating on the ladies are uncommon but because people are so emotionally charged about their Deity of Choice that they'll give themselves aneurysms smiting all the sinners, if that's what it takes. As if Jesus or any of the super best friends give a shit what you think of them. What was I saying about your all-important ego? I honestly believe that if "you people" really believed in these gods, there wouldn't be so much fucking concern about gay love or so much fear of women, or engagements in any kind of xenophobia for that matter. One more aside, I'd think the zealots would be pleased not to share "Heaven Of Choice", isn't overcrowding an issue at some point? These are the kinds of metaphysical questions I struggle with.



Ego talks.


But back to responsibility in print. Was the motivation to include this twat's letter lady-hate based or non-Christian-worship-hate based? "Hey, I know! We'll post this Islamic nuts' blame game and Whitey will flock back to the KKK meetings, hauling their tithings in tow. We'll have the new clubhouse built in no time!" I mean, do white people really need more fodder to be racist fucks with? (Not you, baby, you're funny!) Who can really say, so let's look at the evidence to try to break it down. The Toronto Daily Tabloid a.k.a. The Sun, engineered with approximately a sixth grade reading level in mind, did print the article about this guy misrepresentin' so maybe it's not an "all brown guys are terrorists" sensationalist campaign to up the readership for a few days. What does that leave? Only the "Fuck women and then blame them for it." campaign.

What if I drafted a letter blaming the Jews for the Nazi movement? Y'know, "if they hadn't been so funny and good with money they'd have been all right, but they were asking for that holocaust by being an easy scapegoat". Or how about I shit on African slaves for getting dragged over here? Y'know, "They should have bleached their skin if they didn't want to be owned property, displaced in a foreign land." It's the exact same shit. But they would never print that shit. Same reason Big Brother voted in the black man rather than the white woman. He might be dark skinned but he still has a cock. He's also far better looking than Hilary so there we go with the "beautiful advantage" in action.

As an editor... if any y'all would get your submissions in, I feel I have a certain responsibility to uphold a lil decency... as I shit on all that is "good and holy". Hilarious considering the fact that zealots see me as the purest form of sexual deviancy. But you know my standard response, "fuck your hater vision goggles". We're all adults. We like sexy time. There's nothing devious or hurtful about that. Even for the folks who are very much into the CBT kind of fun. But I won't even read, let alone entertain the notion of sharing stories here that about bestiality, minors, incest... You know why? Cuz that shit's not entertaining and if you have fantasies about raping your offspring/little people relations or pets, you're ill and need to seek out help so you don't act on your impulses. It's akin to drug addiction, with the added layer of really fucking up everyone else directly involved, too. It also never goes away. You can get help if you understand that you are sick and need help. But you shouldn't hang around here, I report pedophiles to the authorities.

While I'm being all serious, not that I'm fucking anybody except a woman who has seen and done a lot in this life and spent a lot of time reading and discussing about the things I didn't/don't understand, I want to say, to every man, woman and child who has been the victim of sexual violence, it wasn't your fault. If there is ever one idea that you accept about what happened to you, please let it be that, because it's the only true statement about your experience. I'll say it again, in case you missed it, or felt the urge to resist it, "It wasn't your fault." And I'll keep saying that because I'm a truth handler and that's how we roll.

One Love it up as much as you are humanly able to today.
Namaste, Bitches


p.s. I can't leave it on that heavy note so, having just had a silly exchange with a poor misinformed hater, I'm just going to put this out there that wearing the hijab is a choice, just like the Christians do (or not) with the commandments and the body of Christ eating pantomime (actually that part's more zombie but apparently it's disrespectful to put the facts together like that, so it's parenthesized, like I'd not said it at all).

Furthermore, a woman who's full of physical appeal isn't less so wearing a hijab. Even a full face veil, revealing only her eyes, can't hide gorgeous. Same deal on shapeless dresses that can't hide a well composed body while doing nothing to accentuate it. Pheromones are pheromones and we're animals. But whether a bitch wears a full hijab or a slut patrol getup, a person's choice of costume doesn't really fucking matter to me and if you thought about it a second you'd realize, it's none of your goddamned business either. Lol, puns!!

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