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Wednesday, 18 July 2012

Obtusity Chameleon Warm-Ups: Sexy Time Pros(e)

Investigations make guilty parties feel uneasy. Though they make innocent parties uneasy, too, in a different way. For example, prostitutes. The ladies of the night, or the nooner depending on their shift,
who are at peace with earning cash in a cash world are pretty much unanimous in their response about hater vision goggles about some jobs but not others, and they all flip to a video link of the critter from The Flintstones who says "Ehh, it's a living".

Although, pick any person who feels that way about their job, they have the same video clip in their speed dial. Wrong tech reference but the number of fucks I give can be counted on no hands. But there are few jobs in this society that people get so bent out of shape about as they do about the Adult Entertainment Industry. From the ProHoes to the sex chat operators, of all these ladies, and a few manwhoresforpay, you'll hear a lot of "scum of the earth" talk if you ask the commoners.

I think we all know that fuckin' is the only fun thing about being an adult, and ain't none of us gettin' enough of those good times. That's a clearly defined need, or want, that Adult Entertainers come in on. Firefighters and Coppers fulfill a clearly defined need, too. And there are shitheads in every industry. 

All I know is that there are lots of jobs that are too risky or I'm just too fucking lazy to do well... oh fuck, I guess it's true those who can't do, teach. I chose "getting your rocks off" and "shagging" as subject matter so I could file my taxes as an Adult Entertainer this year. I do shit like that for kicks but if it's not true I just look like I'm trying to launder drug money or something. 

In the "Damn, you have the best job ever!" game, I always think hookers are the bomb. They're fucking and gettin' paid. Two of my favourite sports and if I wasn't such a judgemental prick I could do their job really well. I wish I could be altruistic enough to do a lot of different things. If I was a cop, I could use "Fuck tha police?" as a pick up line. I would have a gun, a cool car, access to all sortsa good weed and insider info on who the best hookers are. I don't really see the obvious benefit for firefighters. Cool truck. That's it, so they're just fucking saints. Nice for them, but I'm a dickhead with a keyboard.

There was some prior talk to these parts, just to set up my game of Obtusity Chameleon for you. We could call this exercise, how to spot a chode from a baller, if you need a label for your Rolodex.

I usually talk a bit more before I slut my blog about like that.
But sometimes it's a good way to make people disappear
cuz they think  I'm trying to hook them
for their auto-renewal credit card payments.
It didn't work this time.
Was he being funny?
Is this a language barrier,  ESL style?
Crack pipe gibberish?
Did he think this was a blackmail blog?
Doesn't he know that blackmail is a nono,
or did he mean something else by revenge?
Messing with me indeed... I called on the powers of the Almighty Obtusity Chameleon,
to help us sort it all out.
The main principle of the game is to keep every query a query.
It's not an accusation if it's a question.
It's just a question.
It really emulates the absurdity you can find on the Internet.
And it works well on all kinds of spam:
horny human, spambot, alleged African Prince or otherwise.

I don't really think he's an asshole, it's just that Obtusity Chameleon is a lot like this little guy. And enjoys investigating. Quite a lot. Empathic listening like a jerk.

... Whenever I talk about myself in third person as a character in some emotionally retarded fairy tale land, I always think of this- the whole clip is good but I'm referring to the 1:00+ clip specifically.

If you think Obtusity Chameleon is a lame game, you can adapt the rules to employ your own Obtusity Chameleon and play the "Count The Puns" version. Or go fuck yourself while you think about how thoroughly unfucked you'd be if prostitutes didn't exist. Not you, the other guys keeping these ladies in juice and toilet paper. It's only about a $20 billion international industry... That's a lot of uncollected taxes, so if you're only pissed at them for that, ya, I guess you got me, but the smart bitches do claim income. I couldn't find Canada numbers, fuck it... "That's what he said."

Now, it's my blog, so of course it's my opinion, but I think a world without hoes wouldn't be a world worth living in, and that's why the business has thrived through thick and thin. Even the removal of the erotic venues on popular free advertising venues online hasn't stopped them. If anything we could all learn from the business plan they are rockin' out. If there are any ProHoes reading, feel free to message me all of your business secrets, I like that shit.

Have a great day in Obtusityville!


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