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Friday, 13 July 2012

More Rape Talk: Creeps of all Ages

Let's set this up with the "half plus seven" rule. Or the"double minus seven" rule if you're on the other end of things.

What?? You don't know about the 1/2+7 Rule? I'm here for you. If you're Fuck Informed already, skip down a few paragraphs, this part'll just be a refresher course for you. What's "Fuck Informed"? ... Oh God, please don't tell me you think about sex this much and haven't done any research on our favourite topic. Seriously, how can you spend so much time thinking  and dreaming about anything and know nothing about it???  S'ok, I'm here to help you get "Fuck Informed", I'll stop judging your ignorance long enough to help you kill that ignorance. I'm a humanitarian like that.

Back to 1/2+7. It's a sort of Fucking Morality Meter that really only works while you're of prime fucking age, as you'll see in the examples I set out below. 1/2+7 let's you know if you're being a fucking creep while you're getting your perv on. It's not fool proof, sometimes age is just a number, but it's good for some general guidelines when you're trying to judge whether you're a pervert or a creep. 

You take your age, divide it by 2 and then add 7. So, if you're 30, it looks like this: 30/2= 15+7= 22. Therefore, at 30 years old, 22 is the youngest ass you should be chasing, according to this method. Taken from the other side, if you're 30, it looks like this: 30x2= 60-7= 53. The age range of ladies, or men, who are in your moral high ground fucking pool is 22-53 years old.

It gets all fucked up at certain points, like when it produces numbers under 18. Or numbers that seem disgustingly "Grandpa". Not to say that I haven't seen fuckable 60 year olds, which gives me hope for when 60 is in my "fuckable" age range but generally... My own method is my age, minus 5 plus 15. There's some flex in there, but not much, I'm flexible in other ways.

When I was a kid, I thought other teenagers were the shit, sexually. Presently, it's rare that I check out anyone under 40. Seems ludicrous to the dorky kid that I was, reading about sex because I wanted to figure out how to get me some. But, surprise, surprise, as I've matured so has my taste in loaner dick. I have nieces and nephews that are teen-aged now. It's totally creepy to even consider sexy time involving their friends. They're kids, not my sexual equals. My role in their sex life is to incessantly warn them to wrap it up when they're out there banging their little friends. And lecture them further, over ice cream, after pregnancy scares.

Ya, obviously this is stolen from the Internet.
I justify my sins because it's apt.

Speaking of wrapping it up, back to the main theme of life as a chick on the Internet. Once it exists, I'll link the "Obtusity Chameleon" article here, check back or subscribe, it's a retarded conversation that really deserves it's own page, but let's discuss my methods, briefly. I've already admitted that excessive boredom motivates most of what I do. I'm also kind of a dick, also previously acknowledged. So, I mirror, to entertain myself. It's a technique used primarily in sales, and it works. Oh, I don't mean it works to get my message across, through the thick of many skulls, but it does provide material for this oh-so-entertaining collection of words that exists to put stupid ideas under a microscope so we can all laugh at the absurdity of these problems of the first world together.

Now, it's pretty common, in males of all ages, to pay attention to the parts you like and ignore the stuff you don't like. Meh, fuck ya. BUT, let's have a little "No means no" talk to go along with all the rape talk that's been going on this week. I have noticed a disturbing trend among a lot of little boys cruising adult forums, in search of free camgirl sex. In our society, we like to think that predators are creepy old men who leer at schoolgirls. Sure, there are plenty of those stereotypical predators. But the trend I've noticed involves minors.

First things first. Ya, it's the Internet, so "everybody lies" but as a starting point in this Minors Who Are Predatory discussion, the first fact is that they have already lied to gain access to whatever forum they are using. One and done, I always say. Especially if it's the first thing out of a person's mouth. Lying is stupid because it generally results in a loss of any accumulations gained based on the lie. In the land of gettin' jiggy with it, it means "bye-bye booty". K, well, "everybody lies" on the Internet, so what else? What else is that there's nothing horny making about baby fat or the underdeveloped pectoral muscles of a pubescent. Ugly duckling kinda thing, y'know? Talk to me when you're a grown swan.

Other than physiques that don't arouse, the main thing about these young twats, not all of them, the ones I am referring to as specifically predatory, is their unarousing mental attitudes revealed by their lack of remorse in the "no means no" arena. Grown men who are rejected on the "Wanna cam?" invitation are usually all "Cool, ciao". These young fucks just plow and plow like it ain't nothin'. They don't respond to the polite "No, thanks". They don't respond to the "Fuck off, creep". They simply continue to repeat their request, as if by badgering some chick, she will finally relent. 

Harassment and free speech aren't the same thing,
just sayin'.
Ya, I stole this one, too.

I'm using these forums to peddle my blog. Occasionally I will drop the link because I think a person might be genuinely entertained by it, but otherwise I wait until someone expresses interest. Not with these little fuckers. Every time they repeat their stupid-ass question, I respond with a link to bring them here. Mirroring, bitches. Act like a lil bitch and I will, too. It's kinda fun, not exactly the role play they were looking for, but beggars can't be choosers. Pay a camgirl, or come read about them here, those are your options if you're not willing to get off your computer to get some.

Of course, some people, regardless of age, just get abusive when they are rejected. But the grown ones probably started out as little bitches who couldn't take no for an answer. It's not funny when I consider that these are my nieces' peers. It's disturbing on so many levels. I've seen what happens when a young twat grows up into a grown man's body. The result is frightening, disturbing and destructive like a tornado. Which is precisely why the feminists got so riled up about the rape talk  at the Laugh Factory. That, and an inability to separate between "man" and "predator". 98% of sexual predators are men, that doesn't mean that 98% of men are sexual predators but I'm thoroughly tired of this absurd conversation. 

In conclusion, when a woman says "No", in the real world, or on the Internet, suck it the fuck up. There are so many fish in the sea that you need not try to force someone to be into what you're into just because no one else will talk to you. Not only does your persistent drivel overtly indicate that you're a whiny bitch but according to John Law, it's harassment once s/he's said, "No", so you truly only succeed in graduating to the official title of "Sexual Predator", which is not appealing to most women in case you weren't sure.
I fucking hate the Internet version of chain mail ,
just sayin'.

As for the "Wanna cam?" fantasy, my advice to you is to put up a fucking profile picture if you're serious about "selling your product". Represent muthafucka, this is marketing! And then be prepared to be called out on the fact that you're 16 and rejected for it. The camgirls who are professional won't care what you look like, if you're 18+ and payin'. Tt's a sure thing, like prostitutes. But you want the "virgin", not the "whore", so you can turn her into a "whore", for free... cute. I have another article about that somewhere in this treasure trove. Fuck, actually, you can learn a lot of shit here, take a look around. If you pay attention, it just might help you get laid.
Stolen, yep.

And for the record yes, I can mirror your co-dependence by retaliating with these delicious passive-aggressive musings rather than writing erotica for you, for as long as it takes. I'm just that stubborn and bored. The fact that this is on the radio right now just reinforces that ;) 

Could vaccines be to blame for all of this general stupidity and boner ego?

For more advice about expressing yourself to a woman without being a creepshow take a lesson from this book  it's probably based on a true story. And until a woman reciprocates your interest, try this. 

One more because it's wildly entertaining, and incorporates Vincent Price along with a whole lotta awesome progressiveness, like how to treat your lady and choreographed zombie dancing long before all the rest of you hopped on the zombie bandwagon. When I was a kid, my favourite thing about TV was this, no lie.

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