Muscles

When you work with words, about sex, people take all kinds of liberties with boundaries employing uncouth behaviour that wouldn't come up under other circumstances... I think. Or should "hope" be the verb there? Probably

not because most people don't even read my profile, on any of these sites, which clearly states "I've a blog. You should read it before you act all stupid up in this bitch and win yourself a guest dumbass appearance."

I'm sure it's gigantic,
and that's lovely for you
but I have a big brain fetish,
so it does nothing for me.

 I've talked about Pro Hoes a lot because I imagine their direct interactions with the kinds of humans who forget they aren't cavemen would yield a lot of the same, maybe worse actually, because it's real time face to face interactions.

And because people will tell you about their experiences
if you happen to inquire.
I've already admitted to not knowing
but it really did seem like a cheap rate,
especially because he reported it as being the best hour of sex of his life.
I don't know if he was exaggerating.

I'm just a bitch doing a job. So are hookers. So is your dentist, and massage therapist, and mechanic, grocer, barber, floor sweeper, and blah, blah, blah, fuckin' blah. I really don't think that hating on women who do certain jobs is a very inclusive approach to humanity. 

To make it more fair, we should get on hating Breeders, whose role relies heavily on sex (at least in the initial phases). Naturally all of the fine purveyors of pornography and the wonderful world web and machines that deliver it to us. Which does include men. Every advertiser, and the products and services who've used the ads produced, that are designed with pure "sexiness enhancement" to lure us into purchases. We should also throw down on fashion designers and the people who sew all that sexy underwear and those drool worthy dresses. Fuck, I can go all night, writing our new hater manual.

Somebody is gonna get
fucked in the ass,
in this relationship,
and it ain't gonna be me ;P

Ultimately, if women weren't so fucking sexy by design, none of this would be a question. Let's all hate ladies, it's so much fun once you figure out the ridiculous rules.

You can try to have a conversation,
but it won't always work out that way...
I thought that since he really enjoys repetition,
he'd like it if I just kept sending the link to this here blog...
I think it was too subtle a joke for him.
Not because he is dumb enough to pretend to be a lawyer on the Internet,
we all know lawyers are snakes,
it won't win you any sex pretending to be one.
But because he legitimately doesn't have a handle on the English language and he's still trying to pick up English speaking cyber booty.
You know how far I would get on a Spanish speaking forum?
Or any language, other than English.
Shit, look at how much ridiculous I have to entertain
 from the English speaking douchebags

Anyway, my love for ladies isn't the point here. What I had started to say was that when you pitch words, that are designed to engage the mind in images, of a soft hand moving slowly up your thigh and finally reaching your throbbing cock, which looks massive as her delicate fingers wrap around it, her diamond hard nipples brushing you as her sweet, full lips... something, something, etc., people forget that it's just art and I really don't give a fuck about the content, I'm simply guessing what people might want to read about. Do you actually want to read technically accurate and yet morbidly boring business copy instead?  From what Google Analytics tells me, the whole "words about sex" thing is sorta workin'. If I had it in me, I'd definitely be a professional Elvis Impersonator, alas Imma Writa.

Most people seem to really like fucking, so I threw on the Sex Sells soundtrack and busted out my typing machine. And I haven't stopped. Since then and since the dawn of the Internet it seems a fuck lot of y'all tend to want to know way too fucking much about my own sexual preferences and desires and passionate, lust-filled encounters, with or without whipped cream, and the boundaries talk on Rants and Raves, regarding a guy who got way too many offers for dick when he'd posted in the M4W booty party section, was about the similarity of a common experience of sexuality as a woman. I don't go in for the labelling but it does help us to avoid barking up the wrong tree...

He's definitely not the first guy who has been "accosted" or "played" by a man lovin' man who just wouldn't take no for an answer. And then made the connection that it must kinda be like this for women all the time considering that 90ish% of the population is hetero, so there would invariably be proportionately more straight douchebags. It is unfortunate that it takes some people living through some shit to understand that lots of people live through lots of shit every damn day and we should all probably stop here to give a shout out on Twitter to express our gratitude when we aren't in The Shit River without a paddle.

Ya...

Instead you'd rather know what colour my panties are and if I really do like kissing ladies and blah, blah, fucking, blah. Who fucking cares? Really? If it's you I'm fucking you'll get the elusive "Need To Know Hall Pass" in the mail within 92 business days. Lucky!! ... I was going to say Backstage Pass, but Backstage is too close to Backdoor and for those of you who don't know, it's a reference to anal sex. Bum sex. Fudge packin'. 

How come it's hot when it's a chick's ass but not a guy's? I don't fucking know! 'Cause man man love doesn't do it for me. I know because I once watched a whole porno somebody sent me, called "Muscles". I like muscles enough. Certainly better physique for erotic photography and pornographic movies, but if you really wanna know, I prefer equally rail thin based on my real world track record. 

I don't go in much for fir either.
I do enjoy wool though.
And suede shoes.
Blue, if they're available.
Love isn't always about the "love" between a man and a woman,
or a lady and "her woman".
Love often has nothing at all to do with sexual intimacy

I fell in love with a fat guy's mind once. Before the Internet, when love letters were still sent through couriers and such. Old timey. I tried to love his body, and fuck yes, he was magnificently soft for cuddling. Great! But two out of three isn't going to do for a fucking Princess. Do you know what that is as a percentage? 66.6% and the last six in the statement repeats forever more. Fucking a person you're not into, sexually and physically, is a commitment to Hell on Earth. Math told us. And I believe it.

So, I watched this porno, titled "Muscles", thinking it'd probably be some lame hetero action but you never know. It was two guys. In an apartment. I kept waiting for the pizza lady to show up thinking it might be a clever play on the classic pizza porn scenario. But it wasn't. She never did show up. And the question begs asking, "why in the world would you send a chick a gay guy porno?"

I was only left with the solid confirmation of my lifelong suspicions that my lady boner most probably WILL go away if, when two guys are fucking me, they start fucking each other. I don't know why. Why is anything hot to anyone? Who fucking cares anyway, ya pervert. 

Touche

p.s. The blue highlighted words still aren't just for random shits and giggles. They take you to other words, and sometimes music, that'll put the rest of it in context, if you're confused, or entertain the shit out of you if you have a funny bone. Or both.