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Wednesday, 16 January 2013

Inventing The Wheel

My favourite thing is when you act like I am inventing the wheel simply because you've never been exposed to the concepts or ideas I am so familiar with. The earth is no longer flat and hasn't been for a while...

Here's a concept that illustrates my point: paying attention to the lady you want to bone, in order to get to the opportunity bone her. That's not news. It's common sense... or should be considering the gay dude has it figured out.

Or the concept that undiscovered talent will remain forever so... which is actually true if you won't share my blog with your friends who may actually have connections you're not willing to share, or aren't privy to.

Or the concept that art is linear in it's production. When was the last time you pulled a 20 hour shift, napped for a bit and went back at it for another 20 hours?  Without getting paid. I've worked in an office, there's a lot of fuck all to do around the 2 or 3 hours of actual work that gets done in every 7 or 8 hour shift. Just saying, you surfing the net while you get paid at work, art production just doesn't work that way. It's like sailing, you go far when the wind blows and then you relax with a book in the middle of the ocean waiting for the next.

Or the concept that time is money. I didn't make that one up either. Are you going to work because it makes your boss and clients feel good? And just because you love what you do? Or do you get paid for your time and skill? And then you use that money to buy toilet paper and juice, right? I'm out of toilet paper right now because working for nothing just leaves you hungry and I forgot to get some.

How about crowd-funding? You're acting like I've invented this concept you've never heard of, because (you've never heard of it) you're probably not an artist, so you have normal financing options available to you to build a business, if you cared to. Or if you are an artist, you've accepted this bullshit about artists not getting paid. Cool, come work for me for free, huh? I have no budget so you will need to bring all your own equipment, too. And you'll have to buy lunch because I'm starving.

Ya, anyway, let's bust out the dictionary and break these words down. 
Crowd: group. 
Funding: money - (known as a salary in some circles) 

So a group contributes money for an art project. This financing covers costs like time for production, equipment and supplies to produce. Production in art is that act of "creating from nothing". The products are paintings or music or books or many other things. These products can be traded for this thing called money, which is a wholly fallible system of barter. This entire system is what is known as "Business".

Just as a guitar player will busk on a street corner, hoping to earn enough quarters to buy the next meal or stack of blank discs to burn his album on so he can sell it, or new strings for their harp, all the while posting their shit on YouTube, asking their friends to check it out and/or give it a thumbs up, and playing gigs in shitty bars that don't pay... Crowd-funding is "busking" for other arts producers. While I could stand on the street and read my blog to people, it might get me arrested. And I have doubts anyone will stop and read the blog on my phone if I asked them.

I'm not asking one of you to come up with the whole answer, I am simply asking you to consider contributing $10 or $20 or $200 along with the rest of the crowd, or at the very least share the blog so someone else may step up to the plate and help make things happen. 

Because you say you like it here on this Blog O' Booty Wisdom, I am challenging you to put your money where your mouth is. Or possibly you're just pretending because you think it might win you the prize of getting in my pants. You don't truly believe I didn't notice that you offer a heaping bowl of tepid nothing, do you? Whatever, just pretend with some dollars if that's the case because you'll be hard pressed to find me in a few weeks time, if we can't work out this little "time problem" with this online busking campaign. Yes, you will again be stuck talking to vapid tarts online, who may accept your offer for dinner then proceed to drink a couple of liters of wine while you enjoy your entree... 

32 days remaining. The link is right here. Easy as possible for you to man up on this one (Hoorah, someone has just stepped up as I typed this. Actually double hoorah because that means we've met the requirements for Indiegogo to bump our little campaign to the featured list which might help us reach the goal). Pretend it's the real world... because it is. And I'm still guessing you'd rather be discovering secrets to scoring booty over reading this explanation that time is money, repeated thrice daily until the end of the campaign...

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