"Have A Nice Day!"

This ain't real reality but some alternate, based-on-parts-of-a-true-story, reality where no fewer than seven conversations become one story. A place where the fantasy life you try to pass off as reality, online, is combined with experiences that have happened in the real world. My own and others. Not everyone is sexually repressed. Just sayin'.

Sex still sells, and we all know that's why the hit counter is where it is despite the fact that there aren't any gaping vaginas or exposed titties on display here.

"Hi, I'm A Dirty Fucking Liar, And Dumb As Fuck, Too! Wanna Hook Up?"

"I'm a material girl, living in a material world"... I don't love Madonna, don't hate her but I definitely don't love her. And it'd be more apt to say "I'm a looking-for-blog-material girl, living in a there's-blog-material-everywhere world" but it just doesn't have the same ring to it.

Ya, I'm a fucking dickhead using social networks and online dating venues to peddle these here words. I'm gonna get the fuck all over YouTube at some point, too. Wait for it, it'll be... awesome. We're working on a photo series, too.

Signals: The Where To of How To, Booty Styles

I'll talk to anyone, it's just the way I am designed. Zero fucks given.

I'm a closeted stand up comedian so an audience, any audience, invokes my funny bone. Add to that the fundamental concept that laughter is the best medicine, and that in some twisted parallel universe I am a